This year has been… a lot. It has been hectic. It has been stressful. It has been sad. It has been filled with blow after blow. But, what if we stopped looking at our current situation as a punishment or inconvenience, and started viewing it as an opportunity to reflect, prioritize, and grow? What if we weren’t “doing it wrong” yet, yet evaluating what the blocks are for us compassionately taking responsibility to shift our mindset, ways we handle difficult emotions, and taking more loving and productive actions?
Embracing our present selves with tenderness and recognition for who we are, while also recognizing the areas of ourselves beckoning for further growth is a delicate dance.
And that dance has a name: Self-Improvement. Approaching self-improvement requires patience, honesty, and recognition of small and big wins. It’s not a quick-fix, which means it’s never too early to get started!
So, instead of resenting this year because it’s not what we expected it to be, let’s begin thinking about what we want our lives to look like in the present moment as well as once we’re on the other side of this insane chapter of history. To help you get started, I put together some practical self-improvement tips you can get started on from the comfort of your living room… or your backyard… or your bed.
Establish Your Values
If you need to pick one takeaway from this post, this is it! I am a staunch believer in being clear and aligned with our values-- not just to strive for self-improvement for the sake of improving, but to be more in alignment. Being limited in our day-to-day activities because of COVID-19 brings us a lot of clarity. Sure, we all have a general idea of what’s important to us, but have you ever taken the time to really sit down and think about what’s important to you and why? What do you value most? Being aware and considerate of your core values is CRUCIAL when planning for the future. There are plenty of resources out there to help you get clear on your values! I recommend lifevaluesinventory.org or, if you want one-on-one support, I can help you uncover what those are and help you set realistic goals accordingly.
Create S.M.A.R.T (& Values-Driven) Goals
For long term success, I recommend that goals be meaningful, purposeful, and connected to your values. Value-driven goals allow your energy, passion & focus to come relatively freely and easily, so you can maintain the dedication needed to reach your goals. In addition, practicality is key, and that’s where SMART goals come in! In order to make your goals SMART goals, ask yourself:
Is my goal specific?
Is my goal measurable?
Is my goal attainable?
Is my goal relevant?
Is my goal timely?
Use the video below as a guide to refresh your goals and make them SMART!
Write Down Plans, Goals & Timelines
Having accountability is a helpful technique for keeping you on track with your goals, yet studies have shown only 3% of people write down their goals consistently. In addition, physically writing down goals in a place here you will see it regularly enhances success rate by about 42%. With stats like that, why wouldn’t you make a habit of writing things down?
Success goes beyond practicality, it also requires passion. So, for optimal success, the effort should go beyond writing down the goal. I recommend journaling about your progress because it can help you maintain your connection to the goal and be a reminder of why you started this journey in the first place!
By journaling through the experience, you become more mindful of how your actions make you feel. Acknowledging the feelings helps to connect your purpose and builds confidence to keep going when you come face-to-face with plateaus or setbacks.
Start with keeping small promises to yourself.
Having a good relationship with yourself is similar to building one with others. We build trust, integrity and confidence with ourselves when we follow through with what we say we are going to do. Write down small daily promises to yourself, share with others for support or accountability, and get ready to feel more empowered when you realize that you are capable of accomplishing your goals!
Practice Self-Love
You can’t grow if your past downfalls are weighing you down. Remember: your mistakes make you human! Instead of fearing failure, learn to be comfortable with picking yourself back up after losing focus. Give. Yourself. Grace.
Growth is not linear, and it requires you to choose between succumbing to self-criticism or embracing self-love as you move forward.
We are always evolving, and life will continue to throw new opportunities your way. Nobody, absolutely, nobody will ever "accomplish" self-improvement. My advice? Find value in the process instead of perfection. Let honesty, reflection and self-compassion be the way you 'measure' success with personal development.
Celebrate Your Successes!
Positive reinforcement goes a long way, so make sure you are giving yourself credit where credit is due. Celebrating can look like affirming yourself, sharing your good news with others, or coming up with bigger rewards for your successes. Recognizing milestones makes success fun, and they’re always worth being celebrated!
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